I woke up this morning wondering about the life I once had  and the life I have. Which one do I want? which one do i truly really want?  Do I want to be with someone that I am so deeply in love with but dont enjoy life with or would i rather enjoy life and be with someone that I love and am growing to love more and more each day.

I am not good at good byes at all but I know that pain changes who you are and I have been hurt so bad with my last relationship that it was pretty much ran into the grown and I know no matter how much I want it to be it will never be what I want it to be. No matter how much love i have for them i know it wont ever be the same. I think that we both know it but just dont want to admit it to one another.

I know its time i have to say goodbye to that relationship and focus on my previous relationship. That doesnt mean i will stop caring or loving her because i could never stop loving or caring about her. through out my life I will always carry that deep down inside me but I know its time to give it all i have with him and make the best of it. I find myself each day loving him a little bit more and more. I know i will never love him like i loved her cause they are two different loves from two different worlds.

But how do i tell her that? how do i just let her go?