oooo SLAP!!!

Ok so i haven't been to church in quite sometime and its not that i am against it. i am just lazy and didn't feel like going and honestly i would rather hang with ashley then go to church. Well today Chris asked me to go to church and i told him no because 1. i need to do my bible study ( which i still need to do)
2. i want to read
3. i just don't feel like it
He was like bout time you be honest.

When tonight came around i was bored and wanted to do something and he was getting ready for church and so i decided that i would go. and it was amazing!!!

i walk in and it reminds me of a church i went to when i was at college. As i was sitting there i started thinking about people back in indiana that i miss. When the music started it was such a sweet sound to my ears. i kept thinking to myself wow i really need to be here tonight. i don't know but two people there but i realized tonight how much i need church. Just being there was so refreshing and it revived me.
and i haven't even got to the message yet

Tonight the guy talked about judging others and how we need to look at people through God's eye. it really hit me and made me think about the situation with a roomate and where i stand judging her and how much is me and how much is not. i know i struggle with people that haven't had a hard life. it gave me alot to think about and i am looking forward going tuesday and from there i will decide if i want to go on sundays or tuesdays. i am glad i went.

it was suppose to be relaxing

Wow two posts in one day i must be bored :)

there is so much on my mind i don't even know what to write or where to start. today has been a pretty exhausting day. i planned on just laying on the couch all day and relaxing and all i wanted to get done was my monthlys but that didn't happen because the boys end up comimg home from there concert and they wanted to watch 24 and falling asleep and so i decided to do my monthlys and i swear i was on my phone more today then i have been all week. if it was me calling someone to help with my monthlys it would be a friend that i haven't talked to in a long time so i would want to pick up and talk for a little bit but i couldn't talk for long cause i wanted to get my monthlys done. i finally got them done. then my roomate decided to tell me that she clogged the toliet and she would fix it later. then she came back in to inform me that she was going to go home because i won't let her into my life and wanted to know if i was offended and i told her i wasn't offended but she needs to fix the toliet before she left and i think i might have offended her because she looked a little mad. i know she wants to get to know me but honestly i told her about my struggle and that is huge that i told her that because i still have friends that don't even know about that so i told her the hugest thing in my life. Anyways she ended up going home and not fixing the toliet so now i will go in there and try to unclog it everyonce in a while but honestly it stinks so bad that i can't stay in there long. so now i am here all alone. it is kind of a good think but can also be a negative thing. well thats been my day.

Why can't i just hang with the people i want to hang with

i was coming home yesterday after a long day of doing 7 shows at a school and my co worker starting to ask me questions and talk a bout how she doesn't feel wanted because i would rather hang out with just ashley. Now i have to say that this really frustrated me and i kept most of my emotions inside because i knew i could have gone hay wire on her. here is the deal i can understand more when my friends that i have been friends for a long time come up to me and say something along those lines but i don't even really know this girl and honestly i don't really want to get to know her but that is besides the point. when she says that she is pretty much jealous of ashley or our friendship or whatever it is that is not my problem and i am not going to stop being ashley's friend to make her feel wanted. she told me that she had a friendship before like i have with ashley and it didn't work out. well i am sorry it happened that way but that is your life not mine and i am fine just hanging out with ashley while i am at camfel. that doesn't mean i won't hang or talk to anyone else here i just prefer chillin with ashley because i know i don't have to jump through hoops to please her or she doesn't spring some surprise on me that she doesn't feel wanted because i have weekly telephone dates with my other friends back home. why can't i just chill with the people i want to chill with.

Side note: i do not like MACs

i apreciate the little things in life.

Life is so weird at times. Since i have been in California i have been learning so much and growing so much especially in the last couple of days. Ashley went up north for a couple of weeks and since she has been gone i have realized how much i appreciate her. We haven't been away from each other for this long in a while but i have notice just small things that i miss and i really appreciate about her.
here are a couple:

1. her presence- just her being around makes life more relaxing
2. her honesty and bluntness- i am tired of having to try and read between the lines.
3 how she likes to grab food and take it back to the hotel or condo
4.her encouragement.
5. her logic-its so much simpler then some peoples
6. her taste of food
7. the fact that she likes to just relax.

there are just some and i have taken a lot of them for granted but i am thankful for them and hope that i have able to let her know that i appreciate those things about her because i am being stretched a lot and will be stretched for the next 2 and a half weeks. i can't wait till then

thoughts from the road

i have been traveling around the country ( mainly california for now) and i have the privilege of watching the same show over and over again. it has been making me think about how much middle and high school gets don't know and how they do have a lot of growing up to do. as i go into the schools to give them the presentation and when ashley and i get up to speak you can just see on their face that they think they know more than anyone else and i just wish it would click into their heads that they s