Midnight prayer

Hey God,
It's me here... I'm hurting really bad and you know I've been through these nights many times before and I promised myself that I would never allow myself to hurt like this again. I fought for four months not to let this girl get to me. Time after time I felt myself falling  for her and each time I would catch myself and fight harder and harder to not allow myself to fall in love with her. Even though my feelings kept getting stronger I would bury them and do the best I can to hide them.
    But they got the best of me and I fell, I fell really hard.
It's been two months and I'm laying in this bed alone as she's upstairs in her bed. Papa I hurt. And I don't want to hurt like this again. Papa I don't want to go thru this pain again. I'll hold it all in cause one thing I know for sure is I'll be damn ed to let her know how bad I hurt!!!! I've learned to trust her .... it gets easier when I remember how much she loves  me. But papa my love for her scares the shit out of me.