Dependency

God has really been showing alot with the last three weeks. i have been able to admit to i have a dependency issues. God has really opened my eyes and helped me to see that friendships are good and the ones i have he gave me as a gift. i just need to be able to let them be there own person and let me be my own person. We all have different personaliteis and we all like to do different stuff. I have noticed lately how i tend to get jealous, frustrated, and upset when things happen that make me insecure. i don't show them and i keep them inside because i know that they aren't healthy or a good thing so i jut push them way down inside and try to ignore them not let them be the base for my actions. i am really good at not always letting my feeling dictate my choices. i don't like it when these feeling start flooding in me and it makes me even more upset when they just sit in me and won't go away. I can just feel two consciouses going at it. I know that i don't need to be like this and everthing is going to be ok. i know at the end of the day the people i am afraid of leaving me will be there and will care for me. i know that they love me. i know all of that but the other part just keeps pounding into me that i am going to be alone that everyone is going leave me. the really cool part is i was able to talk to a friend and let her know that i do have this issue and i want to work on it and i don't know how. She just happens to be the one that i am dependent on and it is just so cool how she is really to help me work on it and give me people to talk to.
she is a really good friend and most people would probably say that you just need to drop them but i don't think that needs to happen i just need to be open and honest and work through it and things will get better. i know it is going to be hard but i know its going to be worth it all.