the drive home

so i went to hang out with a friend tonight and i had a good time. on my way home i had alot going on in my head that i don't remember have of the actuall drive. i first started out thinking about how i really like going to encounter and i wish i could go every week. that led to some thoughts about how i have this anger issue and how i throw a tantrem because i can't have it my way. my anger started because i really like going to encounter and i can't go regularly because i don't have a vehicle. the anger in me started getting worse on the way home. So i started trying to figure out why. i realized that i didn't want to come back home. i really hanging out with ashley and i was getting mad and upset because i can't hang out with her whenever i want like i use to. so that was the first thing that spured my anger. then i was listiening to the radio and a song came on called Alyssa lies. it was about this girl who was being abused and she would lie to her teacher and class so that they wouldn't find out she was being abuse. she ends up dying because no one helped her. that made me more angry because i just don't understand it when children get hurt like that and when i hear of stories of innocent children getting violated i get the extreme since of anger in me that i just what to burst. after i thought about that i starting thinking about how i have to go to warsaw tommorrow and i don't want to do that either. i don't know why but i really do not want to be there or here. i want to go i want to just go. so all of my anger stems because i am not in control. i just want to grab my friends and leave. anyway this is about the drive home not about my anger. so i was thinking about all of this stuff and it was so intensed that the next thing i know i am almost home.
so now i am home and i don't want to be here but for some reason i am here and i will stay here and i will go home to warsaw tommorrow and i will go to work and just be upset with it all. then Saturday i will get to go hang out with my friends again and i will be around people that get me and i enjoy being around.