Mother's Day

As mother's day approaches i am finding myself full of hurt and frustration towards my mom. i work at a bookstore and i see gifts for mothers and i read the mother's day cards and after i read them i think how my mom was never like that. i am not sure what is going on inside me but i honestly say that my mom was there for me when i needed her most. i don't have that bond with that i am suppose to have. This is just so weird to me because i can't wait for father's day to get here because i have so many ideas on what gifts i can get my dad. i feel like they kind of have switched places in my life. the only think bothering me with my mom is my loyalty factor. i don't know what it is but i can really care less if i get her anything for mother's day. at the same time i am sad because i feel this way and i want so bad to keep on denying how i feel but i can't. Everytime i pick up the phone to call her and she gets on it and i hear her tone it upsets me. right now i am just being pulled two directions. part of me wants to say screw her and just let go on her and part of me knows i would feel bad for doing that and wants to defend her. so i think this mother's day i am just going to try to make it through by facing the truth and be honest with her. i just wish that she would try and get help so that she could truly love us and not have it be just another task that she has to complete for the day.