wow

the last couple of days have been very thoughtful. i have done alot of processing things that have been going on in my life so i thought i would share some of the things that i have been thinking about:

First of all i like having a friend that can discuss why we are friends and it not be a threatening thing. If most of my friends ask me why we were friends i would freak out because that was a sign that our friendship was done. i like being at a level with someone that i can trust them enough to not freak out and just be honest and talk about that very good question.

Secondly i went to a bible study tonight and i told ashley how sad it was that our table put down a "christian response". i couldn't believe it. it is one thing to say how you want to help the needy and witness to people if they are just words but what if that is actually your heart?

Thirdly i met this couple at the bible study who don't attend church because they don't feel welcomed. they feel like they are an outcast because they live together. that got me thinking about if some people are as far away from the box as others are in the box. i know that some people just think everything is suppose to be happy go lucky once you become a christian and they say what they are suppose to say but what about all the others that just claim to be christians and are to far out. Like one guy said at the bible study that there are two things jesus commands Love God and love others. is that all though? Does the bible even say that we aren't allowed to live together?

Fourth thing is i was thinking about my testimony and if my life circumstances really led me to God. i was telling my Ashley that i don't think they do. i have always wanted to serve God as long as i can remember but i am not sure why that is so i am in the process of really looking into my testimony and seeing what led me to god

so i think that is all as of right now.