Honesty

Sometimes the hardest person to be honest to is yourself.  You know the truth, the way you think or how you truly feel but to admit it and accept it is hard.
    I said alot of things in the beginning thinking I knew her. It's hard admit i was wrong. I want so bad for her to be that girl i fell in love with, that girl that I became addicted to. I thought I would always love her, that she was the one. And I been fighting myself. Cause I ask myself would I or could I still be in love with her even when the very thing I fell in love with is gone.  I've never had love absolve like this. And it makes me feel numb cause i have to fight myself to keep my love for her alive. When i stop and let go just like the wind blows it's gone. No more do i care how she feels about me. It's like i can get up and walk away and not even look back. I just want to love and i want to be there. But i got to accept the person i want her to be and the person she is is totally two different people.  Honesty it's hard.