if i loved HIM that much

Yesterday i got thinking about blogs and wonder if anyone even reads them or let alone writes on them anymore. I was going to write yesterday cause i had things to write out but then when i thought about that i was like whats the point if no one reads what i write. As the day progressed i went to my reader and deleting some blogs that i have no interest in. When i took a look back at the old stuff I realized things about me that back then that i was blind to. I wanted to be like a old friend. I wanted to read the stuff she read, so i started doing it. i wasn't interested in it and it didn't entertain me but that is what she did so I did it.

As i was looking through all my subscriptions i found one that a friend and I did together and i looked back at it and remembered the good times we had. I watched some videos that she had put on there and I even tried talking like this friend that i wanted to be like. I wanted to be just like her so I got into what she was into.

Later on in the day i was thinking about how much I loved Melissa. I would do anything for her. I was devoted to her and would do whatever she asked. If she needed cigerettes or wanted something to eat at 3 in the morning then I would wake up and walk to go get it. I even went as far as dropping my morals for her.

I wanted to be like a friend that i started doing what she did and i loved someone so much that i gave them my heart and my life.

Wonder if I wanted to be like Jesus that I stareted doing what he did and if I loved him so much that i gave him my heart and my life. Wonder if i devoted as much devotion as i devoted to these two people how far would i get? How happy and joyful would i be? If i loved God so much that i would get up at 3 in the morining to spend time with him, If i spent so much time with him that i started talking like him or acting like him. I bet i would have got it right this time.