Fri to sun

So much has happened since friday. I woke up friday morning in florida and went to sleep in Indiana. Since I sat down at the airport I haven't stop asking God why do I need to be at home. I don't want to be here and its been hard being here. I know I needed to leave Florida but I don't know why God wanted me to come home. I am slowly starting to see that i need to invest in my family and spend time with them. This is hard for me right now because I don't really want to be bothered by them. When i was at my sisters this weekend I noticed that I have a hard road to walk. I didn't realize how bad my dependence was until I went into Krogers to grab a frozen pizza and My eyes went straight for jack's pizza. i could not take my eyes off of it. It is good pizza but it reminded me of a friend and once that happen i started getting sad and wonderng what in the hell am I doing. Wondering if i did the right thing. Wondering who is going to be my source of encourgement. Who will be the one that will accept me for me. Who will I watch movies with? Who will i be able to laugh with and joke with? Going on with the weekend reading emails and getting upset at things that were happening. Going out to eat and seeing a huge thing of mac and cheese and having these thoughts flood my mind again. It hit me that there are alot of things that i am going to have to accept. There are somethings I am going to have to change. The thing that hit me hard was how much I already miss my florida and everything down there. It hit me how much i care about her and really want the best for her. I know we weren't helping each other grow towards God while i was down there so I knew it would be better if I left and God has been telling me that I needed to come home. I have questioned it and wonder if it was really God because why would he want me at a place that i don't want to be. I finally listened and I came. Like I said alot has happened and I don't know why I am here but I know this is where i am suppose to be and I know God is with us and has us in his hands and I need to allow him to work in all of our lives. Its just been three days but it has been a hard three days. A friend told me today that the is the hardest it will be it will only get easier from here on.