Tougher then I thought

So I was thinking today how it seems so easy but when I finally settled down and am lying in my bed with nothing but me and God, I find myself hurting and doubting and missing my old life. I find myself wondering what she is doing or if she thinks about me. I wonder if we could ever have a healthy relationship. I wonder if I will ever be able to get a good job and a place of my own. I wonder what God has planned for me. When I was in my meeting yesterday I was told that it is going to be hard to get through this but with time things will get better. I was asked if I thought there would be a time in my life where I could completely out of my life. I don't think I could and honestly I really don't want to. Given I am still working through all of this, I know that I have a honest pure caring about her and I do want the best for her.

These past couple of nights though have been really hard for me and as strong as I try to be God knows that it is something very painful that I am going to have to go through but as long as I keep being honest with myself and others I will eventually get through this. I also know there are some things that I am going to just miss forever and it is ok to miss them because they were good things and when you hang out with someone for a long time you will experience some good memories and those are to be cherished. So even thought this adjusting thing is harder then I thought it would be it will only get easier.